Another rambling post after quite long. It seems to be that I have become busy in day to day stuff and writing takes a backseat. Moreover, as my husband never stops reminding me, I have too many hobbies to manage, and to keep up, and I seem to keep adding more and more to the list, on sudden whims of the moments. :)
But getting back to the topic at hand, recently I have been having a lot of discussions about happiness, and what brings happiness. Also, I am going to reach a big milestone in age in another year! When I was younger, anyone 25 or older seemed to me very mature, very grown up. Now that I have crossed that border 4 years back, I look back and think, almost nothing has changed. I don't feel grown up-ish at all, I don't feel I have matured any more than I was earlier. I feel as silly and seem to be as diverted by things as I used to be. Age is just a number, after all.
But it would be wrong to say nothing has changed at all. Now I don't prefer pulling all-nighters except on rare occasions. I know that next morning there is work to do and being groggy through the day will make this night-out seem not worth it. Now I cannot read the newest Harry Potter all at one go in one sitting, I have to go to office, and carry out the responsibilities, so I have to fit in the reading into multiple short stints rather than one long stretch. I do not have unlimited time to give to another love of my life, photography, I need to intentionally make time for this. Talking to old friends have reduced, everyone has become busy, and we just hope to catch up once in a while. Though I remember my hostel life and my friends a lot, we never manage to catch up as often as those thoughts invade my mind. I think these are all parts of growing up and getting more things on our plates, trying to juggle our way through life.
But then growing up also means becoming independent, making your own decisions, and trying out different things. I think one huge part of growing up was that I was able to come to a different country, make a life on my own, fall in love, settle down, and go travelling to various countries as I wish. Growing up also means you are in charge of your life. As a child, my life had been planned by my parents to a level, now I have to plan it going forward. As my dad loved to remind me always, while giving me more freedom than a lot of other people got, "with great power comes great responsibility". So you have to bear the brunt of the decision and its outcome, and you should be ready to face it, whether it be happy or sad.
Growing up also means much more anxiety in general. As I mentioned earlier, some discussions about happiness also came back to how kids and adults view life. Kids can generally always keep themselves happy, until the adults come and pull them from the thing they are enjoying. A few days back on a lunch outing with friends with kids, I was noticing how kids love running around a fountain, trying to splash water on themselves and others. They don't care how hot it is, they don't care about getting wet. It is not the same for adults. But then I think it is not a fair aspiration for adults to be that way. Children do not have responsibilities, the grown up-s have the onus on them to take care of the children and themselves. They know more about the world and they are more apprehensive, since they know about the possible repercussions. The grown-ups have the huge task of bringing up those children to be good, honest, strong human beings, who are sincere and value all people around them equally, at the same time trying to shield them from the harmful and negative things in the world.
So as grown ups, we have to make sure that we don't forget to be happy and grateful for our luxurious lives. I still notice small beauties in nature, new leaves coming out, new flowers blooming in our small garden, getting wet in the rain, listening to melodious ghazals, sitting by the window with a cool breeze blowing throughout, reading a book which makes me think and ponder, looking at older photos and reminiscing about the memories, planning new trips to create new memories, talking to friends, looking forward to going home, achieving something at work after lots of effort, all these and many more make me happy! It is like listing down "A few of my favorite things". Probably all of us should keep a list like this, and when there is anxiety, sadness and stress, we should take time out to do a few things which makes us happy.
After writing all this, I do think I have grown up somewhat, do not know whether to be happy about that or sad? :) :( :?
But getting back to the topic at hand, recently I have been having a lot of discussions about happiness, and what brings happiness. Also, I am going to reach a big milestone in age in another year! When I was younger, anyone 25 or older seemed to me very mature, very grown up. Now that I have crossed that border 4 years back, I look back and think, almost nothing has changed. I don't feel grown up-ish at all, I don't feel I have matured any more than I was earlier. I feel as silly and seem to be as diverted by things as I used to be. Age is just a number, after all.
But it would be wrong to say nothing has changed at all. Now I don't prefer pulling all-nighters except on rare occasions. I know that next morning there is work to do and being groggy through the day will make this night-out seem not worth it. Now I cannot read the newest Harry Potter all at one go in one sitting, I have to go to office, and carry out the responsibilities, so I have to fit in the reading into multiple short stints rather than one long stretch. I do not have unlimited time to give to another love of my life, photography, I need to intentionally make time for this. Talking to old friends have reduced, everyone has become busy, and we just hope to catch up once in a while. Though I remember my hostel life and my friends a lot, we never manage to catch up as often as those thoughts invade my mind. I think these are all parts of growing up and getting more things on our plates, trying to juggle our way through life.
But then growing up also means becoming independent, making your own decisions, and trying out different things. I think one huge part of growing up was that I was able to come to a different country, make a life on my own, fall in love, settle down, and go travelling to various countries as I wish. Growing up also means you are in charge of your life. As a child, my life had been planned by my parents to a level, now I have to plan it going forward. As my dad loved to remind me always, while giving me more freedom than a lot of other people got, "with great power comes great responsibility". So you have to bear the brunt of the decision and its outcome, and you should be ready to face it, whether it be happy or sad.
Growing up also means much more anxiety in general. As I mentioned earlier, some discussions about happiness also came back to how kids and adults view life. Kids can generally always keep themselves happy, until the adults come and pull them from the thing they are enjoying. A few days back on a lunch outing with friends with kids, I was noticing how kids love running around a fountain, trying to splash water on themselves and others. They don't care how hot it is, they don't care about getting wet. It is not the same for adults. But then I think it is not a fair aspiration for adults to be that way. Children do not have responsibilities, the grown up-s have the onus on them to take care of the children and themselves. They know more about the world and they are more apprehensive, since they know about the possible repercussions. The grown-ups have the huge task of bringing up those children to be good, honest, strong human beings, who are sincere and value all people around them equally, at the same time trying to shield them from the harmful and negative things in the world.
So as grown ups, we have to make sure that we don't forget to be happy and grateful for our luxurious lives. I still notice small beauties in nature, new leaves coming out, new flowers blooming in our small garden, getting wet in the rain, listening to melodious ghazals, sitting by the window with a cool breeze blowing throughout, reading a book which makes me think and ponder, looking at older photos and reminiscing about the memories, planning new trips to create new memories, talking to friends, looking forward to going home, achieving something at work after lots of effort, all these and many more make me happy! It is like listing down "A few of my favorite things". Probably all of us should keep a list like this, and when there is anxiety, sadness and stress, we should take time out to do a few things which makes us happy.
After writing all this, I do think I have grown up somewhat, do not know whether to be happy about that or sad? :) :( :?
